I've been hesitant about writing about this on our blog, but really, anyone who reads this blog knows we've been on the infertility train for a while now. Although we're both really grateful for all the opportunities we've had while we've been trying for kids, we're sooo done with this crap. 4+ years is a long time (yeah, sometimes I throw out that number when I'm feeling sorry for myself). We started the IVF process in August, and we're down to the final push now. We chose Oregon Reproductive Medicine in Portland because their success rates are the highest in the nation, and we've been really happy with them. So our Portland vacation wasn't exactly just a vacation, even though we had a blast. I had doctor's appointments most days where they did ultrasounds and blood work. This is what I see when I close my eyes. Someday, we're going to have an ultrasound, and Jesse will hold my hand, and there will be a heartbeat in there. And I will cry.
Shots everyday the past month, you get the idea. On Wednesday, we had our extraction, and they were able to get 20 eggs. Of those, 14 were viable, and 10 fertilized. The goal is to have 2 really good-looking embryos to use and some left over to freeze, so we'll see how many make it to day 5.
Now we wait. How weird is it that any biological children we may have are sitting in a dish 6 hours away? I'm actually already attached to those embryos, strangely enough. Some of those blobs are our kids! On Monday at 2:00 is our implantation. This is a painless procedure involving a catheter. Then bed rest for a few days. Then we wait 9 more days until our blood pregnancy test.
Needless to say, Jesse and I are going a little nutso. It's all we can think about. Anyway, I'm posting this because sometimes we're the only ones in the world who have ever had trouble having kids. Which is not true. But gosh, especially when you're LDS, it can really feel true. I can't express how grateful we are to all the people who have been praying for us and sending good thoughts our way. We feel loved. I'll keep you posted.
I read this, cried, and put you guys and your little eggs on three (count 'em) temple prayer rolls.
ReplyDeleteI also call facebook and blogs "temporal prayer rolls" because everyday I get online my prayer list gets longer. You are on my roll.
I love you both.
I know this was really personal for you, but thanks for posting about it anyway. We have several friends who have had trouble getting pregnant and have used IVF. I've heard a much more descriptive account of all the procedures you have to go through and let me just say--Kathleen, you are one strong woman! Maybe I'm still emotional after having had a baby myself, but I can't help getting choked up knowing how much you want children and what great parents you'll be someday. Best of luck and my prayers are with you!
ReplyDeletePraying hard and sending love! I'm so proud of you guys for everything. Your patience and your example. You are going to be INCREDIBLE parents. I can't wait. I pray it all goes well. KEEP US POSTED!
ReplyDeleteThank you, guys. Really. I read these comments and felt so lucky to have the friends I do.
ReplyDeleteKathleen! I am so sorry to hear about all of this! I had no idea (I'm sure this was intentional). Please know we're praying for you guys. You should check out my friend Brittney's blog. She and her husband Stuart are going through a similar thing. Her dad is the bishop of the Colbert ward: www.stubmax.blogspot.com. It's always nice to have support in trials. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you, too. I can just imagine what wonderful parents you'll be. My cousin and his wife had trouble getting pregnant for years and had to do something that sounds a lot like what you're doing (but i'm not sure what exactly it was). Now they have three little ones (including a set of twins).
ReplyDeleteYou are so amazing. You'll be a magnificent mum Kathleen. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I checked out Brittney's blog, and she sounds amazing. I hope it works for her! Bishop McClaws was my bishop before the ward split, and their family is pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteAllisoni, I always love hearing about people who've had success. Thanks for the support!
Thanks for sharing this. I knew you wanted a baby, but had no idea it's been so hard! You guys are in my prayers and thoughts.Best of luck, love you both!
ReplyDeleteKathleen you gem! It's gonna happen. You will be such a great mom, and Jesse will be such a... Dad. ;) love you both. In our prayers.
ReplyDeleteGuys, I'm praying everything goes well for you. I'm sorry this has been such a trial. On the flip side, I'm glad you haven't told me you were 'trying to get pregnant' for those years. I don't need my friends telling me they're doing it.
ReplyDeleteIt was very brave of you to write this. Thank you letting us in on your world.
Can I just say ditto to everything you said there? I absolutely know how you feel and I'm so excited for you guys to go through this process. It's crazy and strange and totally worth it in the end when you see your little test tube baby and hold them in your arms. :) I'm prayin' for ya!
ReplyDeleteI hope that everything goes great and you will get to see that little heartbeat soon, there is nothing better! I have had some fertility issues and I know how heartbreaking it can be.
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