Lessons Almost Learned

So instead of trying to catch up from my 9-month blogging hiatus or filling this post with pictures of adorable babies, I thought I'd return to the blogging world by reviewing a few things I've learned being the mother of two little people.

1. What's that smell? It's poop. But I just changed both kids--no it's poop. Maybe it's the garbage? Nope--poop. Not the baby? Then it's toddler poop. Ok, ok, you've learned that lesson and this time it's really something else? Poop. It's poop! If it's not in the diaper, then it's somewhere else, but it's poop.

2. Baby spit is just little human water. It will get in your mouth, and that's ok. Go ahead and finish that spoonful of oatmeal for her. Kiss the slobberchin. Drool on your clothes? It'll dry and no one will know. Heck, those jeans have to last you for at least another week (see number 3). Same goes for baby pee, though I can't give a solid endorsement for its consumption. Try to avoid.

3. When people talk about doing more laundry when you have kids, they don't mean just baby clothes. It's YOUR clothes. You, with the slug trails on your arms. To say nothing of vomit. Let's just not.

4. It's ok to pray for Lightning McQueen. He's your son's best friend, and he's got a road to finish.